


I'm Coping

by Singer_Diego_Rolldown (orphan_account)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abstract, Only fully understood by the writer, Thank you to Shie Shadow for helping me, author's point of view, mention of gender dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Singer_Diego_Rolldown
Summary: I wasn't feeling all too well today, this is one way I'm trying to compose myself.
Kudos: 1





	I'm Coping

Shie looks at it, she knows what’s under, she hopes you don’t, it’s not the best nor the happiest. 

She turns to look at you, the reader, or the writer, or both. Her eyes well up with tears, eventually they overflow, streaming down her face. 

“I don’t want that.” She gasps out, and you know that the same goes for you, it’s painful it’s very painful, some things are wrong in and on your chest, but only one of them is currently a problem. Your eyes are welling up too and you can’t stop it, but you’re less mortified now than normal because no one can see you crying

You laugh weakly, and it’s not even something you meant to do, it comes out almost randomly and you stroll along with it for a while, it’s no doubt a sad sight, but as I’ve mentioned before, there are no eyes on you, and you’re hiding from both cameras in the house, you’d doubt the latter one would be too exposing. 

“Me too.” You think back. 

“But you want this right?” she says, pointing at the tears streaming down her face, and your heart aches because you aren’t all too able to do the same, going all out on it too. She smiles a bit, a nicer smile than the one on your face whilst you were laughing, but your smiles were always awkward and oddly stiff in the first place, hers is always a lot better, but hers are almost always all sad smiles.  
At least yours are happy or fake. 

“Yes,” you say, frustrated at so many things, the way they look, the way you act, the way they act, the sound of another’s voice blending so well with another’s more infuriating one , for a second the feeling almost physically manifests in your throat, or did it? You don’t really know what’s happening.  
The feelings are crawling up and you don’t like it, but there isn’t much to do except to try to cope. 

“No,” you say next, almost immediately, you messed up and that’s going to mess you up even more, because when you let it all flow it’s hard to stop and they’re going to tell them because they won’t leave you alone and they won’t let you do what you have to do feel better because you don’t let them know because you don’t communicate but’s too hard and they’re still going to worry, talk, and interfere, but if you stop they’ll mock and you and it’ll haunt you because they just keep on repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, and repeating, until you lose yourself and you lose the world because your vision’s blurry with tears and you let go or you don’t, something happens and it hits you hard.


End file.
